Studio Recording - Original Script
When we performed this for an outdoor summer arts festival – they paid us! – which is how we paid for a real studio recording (and also recording our Gone With The Wind in 7 Minutes script).
Cast In Order Of Appearance:
Mother
Quatay
Shopkeeper
Perfumer
Dentist
Narrator
SFX: music (we used "Down Love" by Paul Westerberg)
MOTHER
Quatay! Turn down that radio!
QUATAY
But Mother, it is the best music of the day. How will I fit in with my classmates if I am not hep to the jive.
MOTHER
Hep your jive some other time. You’re waking up Godzilla.
QUATAY
Godzilla? The sleeping monster in Tokyo Bay who wakes up now and then and stomps downtown Tokyo to the ground?
MOTHER
That’s the one.
QUATAY
Why does he always go for that part of the city?
MOTHER
No one’s ever been able to figure that out yet.
QUATAY
And what’s he doing here in Portsmouth?
SFX: crash
MOTHER
Oh no! It’s too late! You have awakened him!
SFX: louder crash
QUATAY
Look! He’s heading for the Mall of Everything You Could Ever Possibly Think of Buying.
SHOPKEEPER
Run away! Run away! He’s pulling the shops apart one by one!
PERFUMER
Maybe he’s looking for some scale freshener. He’s probably all slimy from being in the water so much.
DENTIST
Or maybe he’s looking for a giant toothbrush to get rid of all that fishy smell on his breath.
PERFUMER
Look! He’s eating the TV crew from channel nine!
DENTIST
They must be doing an internal investigative report.
SHOPKEEPER
But look again! He keeps pausing at the shoe stores.
EVERYONE
What can this mean?
QUATAY
Mother, in all the years you’ve seen Godzilla, has he ever had any shoes on?
MOTHER
No, I don’t think so. You mean -
QUATAY
Yes! Some how he must be trying to fit in with his classmates.
DENTIST
By wearing shoes?
SHOPKEEPER
He’s holding onto a pair of sandals!
PERFUMER
He looks sad.
EVERYONE
What can we do?
SFX: thinking music from Jeopardy done a cappella
NARRATOR
And so they gathered all their friends, turned up the music, and began making the largest, coolest pair of summer footgear they could. Just to make certain they fit, the kids placed the right shoe on top of their Junior High School -
SFX: crash
EVERYONE
Oops!
NARRATOR
- and the left shoe on top of the local High School.
MOTHER
Wait! Put that shoe on top of that loud radio station you listen to.
QUATAY
But, Mom -
MOTHER
Just do it! I know what I’m talking about.
SFX: louder crash
NARRATOR
Not only did the shoes fit, but with the juice of the radio station surging through his body, Godzilla boogied his way back into the water. Downtown Portsmouth was saved!
EVERYONE
Hooray!
MOTHER
Well, we’d better start working on a wardrobe for him. How about some nice Hawaiian shirts?
QUATAY
Aw, Mom.
©1997-2023 Lishka DeVoss/Kranky Kids®