Live Recording - Stage Performance
You have to understand – we recorded our lines and then the students switched parts so that they would do terrible jobs lipsyncing while it played over the theater's sound system. This way they looked just like the actors did in the Godzilla films when they were dubbed in English. This stage script is longer because we added a lot of Godzilla monster facts for a later production.
Cast In Order Of Appearance:
Teacher (also plays Shopkeeper)
Student Four (also plays Reporter)
Mallrat (also plays Dentist)
Quatay
Student One (also plays Mother)
Student Two (also plays Perfumer)
Student Three (also plays Narrator)
Mother
Shopkeeper
Perfumer
Dentist
Reporter
Narrator
TEACHER
Now class, who can tell me what Godzilla’s name is in Japanese?
STUDENT FOUR
I can!
MALLRAT
I can!
QUATAY
I can!
TEACHER
Now, now. One at a time please. Yes?
STUDENT ONE
Gojira.
TEACHER
That’s correct. And is Godzilla a good monster or a bad monster? You, in the back?
STUDENT TWO
Well, when he first appeared he was a bad monster because he breathed fire and stomped Tokyo to the ground. But after some sensitivity training he became a good monster who fought other bad monsters.
TEACHER
Very good. Who can name some of those bad monsters?
QUATAY
Ebirah, the gigantic shrimp!
STUDENT THREE
Gigan, the flying metal monster with a buzz saw in his belly! He was from Planet X.
TEACHER
Any more?
MALLRAT
Megalon, the giant cockroach!
STUDENT ONE
Hedora, the 400 pound sludge blob that was born out of waste, factory fumes and smog!
STUDENT FOUR
Yeah, and there was Biollante, the genetically engineered monster plant!
STUDENT TWO
And Ghidrah, otherwise known as Monster Zero, also from Planet X.
MALLRAT
Oh, oh, oh, and, uh em, Mechagodzilla, the evil robot duplicate of Godzilla built by ape aliens!
TEACHER
Excellent! And Godzilla also fought the spiny Angurus and some giant spiders.
QUATAY
But he had friends, too!
TEACHER
Yes, he did. And who were those friends?
STUDENT THREE
Mothra, the giant moth. But she had to fight him at first and then they became friends later.
STUDENT ONE
Rodan, the giant prehistoric bird was his friend.
MALLRAT
So was King Seeser, the humongous ancient crab from Okinawa.
STUDENT FOUR
Spiny Angillus was a friend.
QUATAY
Don’t forget Jet Jaguar, the robot superhero who helped Godzilla fight Megalon and Gigan.
TEACHER
We won’t, I’m certain of that. Did Godzilla have any children?
STUDENT TWO
Yes, he had a son, Minya.
TEACHER
Very good.
SFX: transition music
STUDENT THREE
Ooooooh, all this history makes me sleepy. I think I’ll take a little nap.
SFX: music (we used "Down Love" by Paul Westerberg)
MOTHER
Quatay! Turn down that radio!
QUATAY
But Mother, it is the best music of the day. How will I fit in with my classmates if I am not hep to the jive.
MOTHER
Hep your jive some other time. You’re waking up Godzilla.
QUATAY
Godzilla? The sleeping monster in Tokyo Bay who wakes up now and then and stomps downtown Tokyo to the ground?
MOTHER
That’s the one.
QUATAY
Why does he always go for that part of the city?
MOTHER
No one’s ever been able to figure that out yet.
QUATAY
And what’s he doing here in Portsmouth?
SFX: crashing sounds
MOTHER
Oh no! It’s too late! You have awakened him!
SFX: louder crashes and breaking glass
QUATAY
Look! He’s heading for the Mall of Everything You Could Ever Possibly Think of To Buy.
SFX: crash and breaking glass
SHOPKEEPER
Run away! Run away! He’s pulling the shops apart one by one!
SFX: louder crashes and breaking glass
PERFUMER
Maybe he’s looking for some scale freshener. He’s probably all slimy from being in the water so much.
DENTIST
Or maybe he’s looking for a giant toothbrush to get rid of all that fishy smell on his breath.
REPORTER
Look! He’s eating the TV crew of channel nine!
DENTIST
They must be doing an internal investigative report.
SHOPKEEPER
But look again! He keeps pausing at the shoe stores.
EVERYONE
What can this mean?
QUATAY
Mother, in all the years you’ve seen Godzilla, has he ever had any shoes on?
MOTHER
No, I don’t think so. You mean -
QUATAY
Yes! Somehow he must be trying to fit in with his classmates.
DENTIST
By wearing shoes?
SHOPKEEPER
He’s holding onto a pair of sandals!
PERFUMER
He looks sad.
EVERYONE
What can we do?
SFX: thinking music from Jeopardy done a cappella
NARRATOR
And so they gathered all their friends, turned up the music, and began making the largest, coolest pair of summer footgear they could. Just to make certain they fit, the kids placed the right shoe on top of the Junior High School -
SFX: breaking glass
EVERYONE
Oops!
NARRATOR
- and the left shoe on top of the local High School.
MOTHER
Wait! Put that shoe on top of that loud radio station you listen to.
QUATAY
But, Mom -
MOTHER
Just do it! I know what I’m talking about.
SFX: louder crash
NARRATOR
Not only did the shoes fit, but with the juice of the radio station surging through his body, Godzilla boogied his way back into the water. Downtown Portsmouth was saved!
EVERYONE
Hooray!
MOTHER
Well, we’d better start working on a wardrobe for him. How about some nice Hawaiian shirts?
QUATAY
Aw, Mom.
SFX: transition music
TEACHER
And when Godzilla recently took over Madison Square Garden in New York City, with whom was Godzilla really angry?
STUDENT THREE
Ticketmaster?
SFX: transition end music
©1997-2023 Lishka DeVoss/Kranky Kids®